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1. |
Bowing Out
02:06
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singled out
i’m falling down
i’ve got a million reasons
to just get out of this broke town
before it changes seasons
these cracked up sidewalks drag me home
to the only place where i'm never ever really alone
i'm never ever really alone
stumbling through this
post adolescence
reaching out
brass ring in hand
does all of my success?
depend on this?
and why does everyone around me always bum me out?
or why i'm left stuck dealing with self doubt
and everyday i wake up
and then i see myself as something else that i’ll never be
these times
idling at the red light in my brain
drifting on and on
its time to breathe
take a walk
i'm bowing out
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2. |
Gottigen Street
02:44
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this mess is mine
we find our resolutions on a friday night
walking home at 2am from the bar
i watch the time
the clock ticks faster late at night
it doesn’t really matter
nowhere else to be
is this a sign
retrace steps under power lines
the sky gets brighter and it’s easier to see
we’ll be just fine
up till the morning
trying to feel alive
the street lights flicker as we shuffle down the street
the cynicisms getting old
so i'm told
i've thought it out
let’s float it off to sea
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3. |
Words I Find
01:57
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writers block again
you know
running dry on inspiration
everybody gets this way i'm told
that it all works out
i'm putting the pen to bed
running dry on inspiration
empty thoughts are running through my head
this will not work out
another dry spell i'm working through
got twenty seven unfinished love songs
that are all about you
this is all about you
and these are the words i find
you’re always on my mind
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4. |
June 23rd
01:40
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morning coffee
fighting off this month
tally up the fights i haven’t won
when does everything get to be too much?
this growing pit in my stomach
my burning eyes
i haven’t showered in days
and i don’t care
about much at all these days
you try and convince me otherwise
sinking deeper and deeper into myself
watching the time pass by
and every song turns out the same
constantly argue
but everyones to blame
keep forcing all of the words
that i think but won’t be heard
has everything gotten to be too much?
this giant pit in my stomach
and my burning eyes
i haven’t showered in days
and i don’t care
about much at all these days
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5. |
Cause for Alarm
02:26
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morning coffee
fighting off this month
tally up the fights i haven’t won
when does everything get to be too much?
this growing pit in my stomach
cross my t’s
cross my eyes
there is ringing in my head
cycling through this never ending repetition
of how every day is the same
and the same
and the same
repeat myself again and again and again
am i invisible?
can i just pretend
that everything is fine all of the time
you’re no better at finding the words to not fall apart
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6. |
At It Again
03:35
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live my life compiling empty lists
lacking comfort with no regrets
it keeps keeping me awake
but sleep is for the weak
these weeks keep filling all my time
can't breathe a second
i don't mind
that i'm in the background
trying to survive
another dead end work week
trying to see through my defeat
at my own hands
and now i find
that time keeps moving on
so much i haven't done
just give me a second to breathe
to wake up and find relief
motivation problems are every day
your lips are always moving
but they're never saying
anything more than a story you've told us all before
of what you did
what you've done
and all the ways that you're not having fun
i guess
i'm at it again
beginning and ends
and you want everyone to be
just as miserable as you are
and that's a line that i won't cross
and i guess this time you've gone too far
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7. |
Middle America
02:08
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8. |
Slower Than the Rest
02:37
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these street are crowded
im a mess
fading away
into excess
i haven’t seen the sun in days
fighting through the winter haze
i'll never figure it out
i’m slower than the rest
sitting quietly
regress
into the person that you miss
impressing marks into my skin
the gravity is setting in
i’ll never figure it out
i’m slower than the rest
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9. |
Lessons and Repetitions
01:36
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think hard and never get to sleep
snooze long
walk fast
i can’t keep up
ten in a row
born wrong
and stumble from the start
question the ways i break your heart
why i don’t know
wasting my time i'm out of key
stuck with misguidance and apathy
everyone knows
but i don’t know
dive bars
construction everywhere
i’m barely alive
i’m rarely here
why i don’t know
empathize with all of my friends
when at the end we start again
repeat ourselves
like everybody else
it feels like i'm wandering around
eyes open
and brain shutting down
feeling like nothing’s the every day
and everybody lose
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10. |
Day Job
01:13
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clocked in again
i don’t like it
can’t we just pretend that
this isn’t a privilege and it doesn’t matter
about all the ways you’re suffocating
or why i’m never coming back
ride the wave of the 9 to 5
broken body
static communication
are you watching over me?
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11. |
Parading
02:12
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sitting back to watch and wait
these wheels keeping turning
oh whoa
i'm burned out
waiting for a bus to catch
cause everyone i know
seems to be doing ok
but it isn’t quite the same today
no matter what i say can fight away the dark and gray
i’ve got twelve dollars to my name
i’m just like everybody else
i guess theres no one i can blame
at least i probably have my health
and these are only problems that
everybody seems to face
and these are only problems with
dealing with the day to day
i'm just like everybody else
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12. |
Do I Exist
02:47
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am i a ghost
just a shadow in the wind
flickering the lights off and on again
can you hear me calling out my crimes
of am i just not worth the time
am i invisible to everybody else
distort this perception of myself
the days go from long to short and back
i still don’t know how i should react
do i even exist at all
keep waiting to break my own fall
do i even exist at all?
am i stagnating or just staring at the wall
spring has faded into my oncoming fall
who knows where i’ll be the next time
october comes to claim my mind
and then the cycle begins again
downturn this recovery to resurrection
i close my eyes with blinking fists
and i'm left to wonder
what if i don’t exist?
hood up
eyes down
i walk downtown
mumbling sorrys
and apologies to everyone i meet
do i even exist at all
keep waiting to break my own fall
do i even exist at all
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Dirt Cult Records San Antonio, Texas
Releasing things we like since 2006(ish)
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